complicated feeling
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I donno y am i still feeling it this way..
Im still having complicated feeling.
But i see dear like that..
I feel so xin tong..
Today i finally cannot tahan anymore..
I cried out infront of him.
Im sorry..
I really cant hold it anymore.
My mind keep flash back the facebook messenger message..
The more its flash,
The more i feel so down.
Sry dear..
Im really sorry.
I donno y i will behave it this way.
I choose to trust u,
I choose to believe ur words from the day we secretly together.
There still got alot of things i read and wanna know.
But i donno how to open my mouth and ask u.
Cos i know if i start asking,
u will start to hate me.
u will start to find me very fan,
u will start to further me,
and worst i scare u will find me like 2nd jane.
Im not..
I really don wan things to happen it this way.
Sitted in ECP for a few hrs,
make me think of alot of things..
Not to hide from u..
I tinking of the things of u and her.
I hold my tears till i very xin ku..
Finally after 6 yrs,
We not easy being back to together,
and we are a loving couple which every of ur flings jealous of.
I don wan our relationship to have a gap in it.
U told me u changed alot within these 6 yrs..
I don wan u to become like this.
I blame myself for what i done 6 yrs ago,
to make u become this way.
Heavy heart like going to shatter..
My heart pain until i donno how to describe.
Today in ECP,
i sat there...
Memories of us flashed back..
I smiled...
dear..
i love you
and i really do.
Another thing is that..
I shall let u know my route plan of today ba..
I did went to my god parents house at 3+,
Cos my mum ask me bring 1 fish over for them to cook.
So i did..
After that.
I leave at ard 5+.
Tinking of going to wait for u to end work,
I cabbed down to bedok and halfway jam...
While reaching ur office that time,
then u tell me say u took 2hrs time off,
Which i didnt know at all..
In the end,
i ask uncle drive me to ECP.
Reach ard 610pm ba?
That y i nv caught dao any rain.
From 610pm sit till u came.
Today i spent alot on cab fare.
Just now before cabbing home,
I asked u..
Do u have anything to tell me?
I asked u alot alot alot of times.
But u keep saying nth nth nth,
no no no..
I was waiting for u to hug me,
and tell me how much u love me,
how much u care for me,
how important am i to u?
I waited waited waited.
Wait till..
U ask me to go home.
I really donno what to say,
I really donno what to do.
Do u hate me now mahz dear?
Haiz..
Im sorry dear..
I donno whether tonight im able to slp mahz..
Nites Loves.
Signs off,
JingJing
♥ 4:22 AM
